The Humanist Homeschool Mom

And she's back... again...

2011-12-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

I swear I have every intention of keeping this blog up-to-date for you to enjoy, and then I fall off the bandwagon once more. My goal for 2012: become a better blogger. :) Yes, 2012... can you believe it? It's the year of the end of the world. Yeah, remember that? The Mayans and their calendar? Well, supposedly, a new piece of "evidence" now confirms that we really are doomed. I read it a couple of weeks ago, but interestingly, as I'm trying to find the article now, it seems to have disappeared. So, take my word for it... the end of the world is only one year away, so go ahead and live a little. ;)
(Seriously, these doomsday threats are getting a bit old. Can we move on and talk about stuff that's actually interesting, important, or at least entertaining?)

A while ago, the Humanist magazine approached me about writing a book review about the new book "The Magic of Reality" by Richard Dawkins. How could I refuse such an opportunity, right? I got a free book out of it, that, might I add, is probably one of the best books I've ever read... and am still reading. It really doesn't matter if you're an unschooler, homeschooler, and public schooler, this book is worth the read for the entire family. Richard Dawkins is, quite simply, brilliant. And finally he wrote a book, that regular people (like me) can read too, without passing out from exhaustion about halfway through.
And so, I sit with my children, every so often, and we read a chapter, or maybe just part of a chapter, and we have all been fascinated by the facts, and we are truly appreciating the magic of reality. Where do we come from? That's an earthquake? Who was the first human? These and more questions answered. Go, Richard, go. Oh, and by the way, the illustrations are fantastic as well. It is an all around good book.

Have a great day, everyone... and I'll be back... soon!

Racing to Save Lives

2011-05-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

I'm writing today's post to ask for your help.

My new friend Alex is 6 years old and has leukemia. He's fighting for his life right now, and I am deeply moved by his story. Please check out his blog here: Alex's battle.

On October 16, 2011 I will run the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco, in honor of Alex. What a wonderful thing it would be, if blood cancers like lymphoma and leukemia could get healed for good. Already the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society has raised millions of dollars to help patients like Alex.

This is my very first marathon. It's an exhilarating time for me. I have lots and lots of training ahead of me. But I'm optimistic, as I've just completed two half marathons within a month.

If you would like to make a donation (and please know, that every dollar helps), please click on My Fundraising Page! Make a donation, however small it may be, and then, please share the link with your family and friends. We CAN make a difference. THANK YOU!

My friend, the missionary

2011-02-12T08:24:00.000-08:00

This morning I was contacted by an old friend from "secondary school" (this is the school I went to until I graduated after 10th grade in Germany). She is planning a class reunion with the 30 "kids" from our class (in Germany, rather than seeing different kids during every period, you are always together with the same 30). Of course this reunion is taking place in Germany, so I cannot go.

Well, after chatting with S. on Facebook for a while, I decided to check out who else she had on her friend list... and I found Daniel. I had a secret crush on Daniel during our last year of school. He was the wild child, the guy who wasn't going to be tamed by anyone. He wore torn jeans and t-shirts with ugly skulls. He wore leather bands around his neck and arms. He was the bad boy of the class... he was the guy that all teachers agreed to be a hopeless case. So they gave up on him.

Twenty years later Daniel is a missionary in Ecuador. He blogs about spreading God's word and about his 5 children who are all learning the missionary work now, so they will forever live the life "God has planned for them". He is about to start a new community that will allow him and his workers and volunteers to reach even more villages in the jungle. Daniel goes against anything I stand for. He spreads his belief to those who don't want it, who don't need it... but they are poor, and he can help them, and so they convert to his religion.

But how do they really feel deep down inside? For centuries Christians have tried to convert tribes of natives and poor people to their religion. And yet, you always hear about how they secretly still perform their own religious rituals. It's a game with no real winner. Or is it a game with two winners? Is this missionary work Daniel is doing a curse or a blessing?

I am not terribly worried about the spreading of Christianity. What rubs me the wrong way is that the poorest of us are the target. They don't stand a chance when basic needs for food and medicine are being delivered.

I am sure Daniel is living a very happy and fulfilling life. He found his calling, somewhere along the way. At some point he took off his leather bands, tossed his torn jeans and turned into a new person. You have to admire that about a person. I admire that about Daniel. I wish him all the best for his life and his family. And now I will go down memory lane for just a little longer... remembering the good times we had, when all that was important to us was who liked us, what the latest fashion trend was, and what kind of music we loved.

What would you do?

2011-01-23T19:27:00.000-08:00

You've probably heard it by now... the rapture is actually going to happen May 21, 2011... and the rest of us unworthy ones will go down in October. I must say I'm impressed with this group of people who took the time for these elaborate calculations that led them to the conclusion, that they will be saved in May. :)

Of course this leaves me wondering. Who are these people? And how do they make sense of this? At the bottom of their website they write:

Although there is no possibility that God will not follow through on His intention to destroy the world in 2011, we can know from His dealings with the people of Nineveh that God is tenderhearted and full of mercy. This should encourage each one of us to go to God and beseech Him for His great mercy.

God is tenderhearted and full of mercy... So he built a planet called Earth. He puts a bunch of people and animals on it, and every so often he destroys us (tenderhearted as he is, he decides that some of us... part of his grand creation... are not worthy of living and shall therefore be slaughtered or washed away by a big flood). His creation flourishes. But already he is certain that after Noah's gig, he's going to give us another 7,000 years, before he kills us all... well, except for a few chosen ones of course.

What I really, really want to know though, is what these people do until May? How do they live? How can they possibly prepare for the rapture? Live each day more fully? Pray?

And then, what happens, when they wake up on May 22 and realize they're still right here, on good old Planet Earth?

What would you do if you knew the end of the world was near?

Resolutions? No, thank you!

2011-01-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

Up until last year I made a bunch of resolutions. I felt that surely with a handful of resolutions I will reach my goals, right? Wrong! As I approached the end of 2010, it became painfully clear that I had failed at all but one resolution for the last year. I didn't lose the weight I wanted to (and really, I didn't need to, because I'm just fine!), I didn't write as much as I wanted to. I sure as hell didn't publish a book. I didn't become more orderly. I'm not sure I was a better mom. Although I did try.

FAILURE! yells my inner nagger! FAILURE!!! Look at you! You didn't do a thing. You lose! You disqualified yourself.

Well, actually, no I didn't. No, I'm not. Because while I did not achieve any of these things, I did have a busy year. I worked for Foundation Beyond Belief and loved it. I volunteered at Village Home, the homeschooling community I am a member of (I'm their Fundraising Chair), I started teach classes there again too. I ran a Half Marathon and a few smaller races. I homeschooled my children, and yes, I tried to be a good mom. And I was a wife and a friend.

It was a good, full, amazing year. And there is no doubt in my mind, that this year will be quite similar, and I need not worry about not accomplishing enough.

Having said all that, I do have two goals.

1) I will run the 40th Annual Portland Marathon this year.

2) I will love and appreciate myself just the way I am. No need to change me.

Happy New Year!

Merry....

2010-11-28T07:48:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again. The war on Christmas has begun. Go ahead, google it... It will tell you there are about 202,000,000 results.

The very first link is a Wikipedia article about the Christmas Controversy.

The second link asks us to defend Christmas. (Read it!)

The third is an Amazon link to a book called The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought.

These are followed by a bunch of links to news sites, because let's face it, we all have to get a slice of that War-on-Christmas-Cake. Yum!

As every year I do not care what they call it. I don't mind if the cashier at New Seasons tells me to have a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday. Either way, I will assume they mean well. They could just say nothing instead, I suppose. But what does it matter? If someone wished me a Happy Hanukkah, I'd probably reply, "Right back at ya.".

I will ask once again, "Can't we all just get along?" My husband calls me an idealist. I'm proud to be one. In my ideal world I don't get rid of religion... I simply request a little more tolerance. Look around you... we all do the same thing this time of the year. We shop, we cook, we bake, we invite family or travel to see ours, we sing, we eat, we decorate trees. Is it really THAT important why each individual does all of these things? Are YOU really that important to claim the one real truth? Pulease! Get a grip! Be happy.

And hey, don't forget to donate a toy to a less fortunate child. I dare say, they will appreciate it for what it is... a gesture... and they won't care if you are Jewish, Christian, or *gasp* an Atheist!

Merry Christmas. :p

Well, I never did like Oprah a whole lot...

2010-05-31T19:59:00.000-07:00

... and yes, I realize she gives millions of dollars and does good things. I'm not denying any of that, but she makes claims that are downright dangerous:

Live your best life ever.

... and she's as ignorant as any religious person I've ever met:

Oprah talks to Danish women about God.

Yeah, that's what I really think. Suck it up. :-)

This is as close to a religious moment as I'll ever be...

2010-05-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

said my husband to me during our anniversary trip to California.

We drove down the Oregon coast into California, where we marveled at the majestic Redwood trees, that left us speechless and in awe. Truly a humbling time for us, as we stood there quite small, and wondered what stories those trees might tell from their 2,000 years of life.

I find the natural cathedral a very fitting picture for this post. :)

Constance gets her prom

2010-05-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

You've all heard the news about Constance, the lesbian girl who was cheated out of a prom by her peers and their parents, right? I was more than just a little upset when I heard this story. I knew kids could be cruel... but I was hoping that the adults would set a good example. But then, where do you think the kids learned this kind of behavior?

Well, all's well that ends well... Constance got her prom. You can read the whole story on The Friendly Atheist. But here's a little teaser for ya... copied from his website:

My friend Robb and I went there as guests for the Second Chance Prom, a celebration of equality which was attended by a few hundred kids from all over Mississippi. This event was huge mostly due to the bravery of Constance McMillen after she was not allowed to bring her girlfriend as her date to prom. As you likely have heard, Constance stood up for what was right and was rewarded with her school district canceling the main prom and by her peers who threw a bogus prom for her while they went to the real private prom. The bigoted intolerance she was subjected to is completely inexcusable.
I was so thrilled to see a huge helping of justice served with the Second Chance Prom. Straight kids and LGBT kids were bused in from all over the state to attend the event. The gold sponsors for the event were Green Day and the American Humanist Association. Lance Bass attended, sponsored and spoke to the audience. The crowd got to rock with a great dance-rock concert by Hey Champ, who volunteered to play for free (check them out at heychamp.com — they are big supporters of the freethought and LGBT movements). Then, DJ ?uestlove came out and entranced the crowd. How many kids get that level of talent at their proms? The general consensus was that the Second Chance Prom was much cooler than any of our first proms.

And to Constance's peers and their parents... you may never read this, but SHAME ON YOU!

My very confused neighbor

2010-05-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

My neighbor J. is a conservative Christian, a Republican, a man who strongly believes, that Obama is as close to the anti-Christ as it gets. He is convinced that the world will end someday soon, and that he and his fellow Christians will be saved by Jesus, and the rest of us sorry humans will burn for eternity.

My neighbor J. also adores my children. He loves how friendly, intelligent, and kind they are. He loves how they greet him, chat with him, hang out with him when he works in the front yard. His wife works with children at his church on Sunday mornings, and he constantly tells us, how he has never met children at their Sunday School that are as friendly as my children.

My neighbor J. has a very high opinion of my husband, and frequently asks for his opinion. He finds it difficult to accept my husband's secular take on subjects, but takes it in, and then asks my husband again. He has had conversations with my husband about politics and religion. He walks away from these discussions confused and irritated.

He is irritated by the fact that my daughter insists that the beautiful "creation" around us is a result of evolution, when clearly to him this is God's doing.

My neighbor J. is confused and surprised to meet a family who is so obviously nice and kind, friendly, and caring, and good, all without the promise of salvation or the threat of eternal damnation. What to make of these people whom he cares so much about? How to deal with the fact, that these people are perfectly fine with not going to heaven?

I would like to see him drop his guard just once and tell me, just what is going on inside his mind. I would love to crawl into his head and understand what he's thinking. And more than anything I would like to explain to him why I don't subscribe to his belief, and have him really understand. I know this is not going to happen. I know he is not ready for a conversation of this kind. But I am happy that a seed has been planted in his head... however small it may be, and however long it may take to grow.

The Pilgrims

2010-05-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

Together with my children I'm learning a lot about the pilgrims these days, and I wanted to share with you all something that Governor Edward Winslow wrote in 1621 in a letter:

So that there is now great peace amongst the Indians themselves, which was not formerly, neither would have been but for us; and we, for our parts, walk as peaceably and safely in the wood as in the highways in England. We entertain them familiarly in our houses, and they as friendly bestowing their venison on us. They are a people without any religion or knowledge of any God, yet very trusty, quick of apprehension, ripe-witted, just.

The rest of the letter is filled with praises of God, but there is no hostility towards the Indians and their "non-belief". :)

Story of the World

2010-04-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

To those of you who don't homeschool, or who do homeschool, but don't know about Story of the World, it is a history curriculum, written by Susan Wise Bauer. I have never seen the original version of the curriculum, but was informed of the religious references, as Susan is a Christian woman.

I own the curriculum, and both my children have taken Story of the World classes in our homeschooling community college (yes, there really is no better way to describe this awesome place). My son is currently enrolled in Ancient History and quite enjoys the class.

Right before the winter term my son's teacher sent out a syllabus and skipped various chapters. Upon my inquiry why she chose to skip those chapters, she replied she was concerned that secular homeschoolers might be offended by these chapters, and might not appreciate it if she taught them in her class. I was puzzled by this. The notion that I might be offended by history was new to me.

The fact is, that religion is a major factor of the world's past. The Egyptians, the Romans, the Greeks, the Jews and early Christians, all of them believed in various gods. All of them needed their religion to answer those important questions: Why am I here? And how did I get here? I find ancient religion fascinating, and I want my children to know all about it. Heck, I want my kids to go to a church service, to see a synagogue, to understand what is going on behind those mysterious walls.

Denying my children religious education would be like denying them a part of their culture. Religion is what has brought us here, what has shaped us into who we are. Religion has brought out a lot of good in many, and a lot of bad in others. And I consider it common knowledge to understand what religion is, what it means, and how it impacts our daily lives.

So I will read those chapters of The Story of the World to my son, as I did to my daughter, and I will discuss them and do the activities. I will read them Bible stories, and I will try my very best to take an objective look at religion with them, however difficult it may be. :)

How's that for a prayer?

2010-04-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

I read this on Facebook today, and was positively disturbed by it.

DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN

So, I read through some of the comments, and many are just dumb and hateful, others are convinced that this is a joke.

I'd just like to know this... of all the people who recite the Pledge of Allegiance... one nation (under God), indivisible... , does this pledge mean anything to them? What happened to love thy neighbor? What happened to We stand united? WWJD?

You don't have to like Obama. Obviously we're not going to get 300 million people to agree on who would be the best president to serve this nation... but since he IS the president now, and will be for a while, couldn't you just suck it up, and stand behind him and support him? You will have a chance again during the next election.

(Just to clarify, to me this prayer sounds like the prayer of a person who hates the president and asks God to kill him. And when I recited it to my friends, that's how they took it too.)

Hear me on Podcast Beyond Belief

2010-04-12T20:11:00.000-07:00

Podcast Beyond Belief is the official podcast for Foundation Beyond Belief. Past episodes include "Raising Happy Kids", "Secular Summer Camp", and "What is Skepticism?". I recommend you listen to some (or all) of them.

And when you get a chance, listen to my interview in Episode Seven. I talk about our secular parenting program here in my town, about Foundation Beyond Belief, and about secular homeschooling.

Isn't it beautiful how many of us secular homeschoolers are out there? :)

Persistence is key

2010-04-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to get easily discouraged by less than hoped for success. I know that good things are worth fighting for, and sometimes good things take time. I have learned this many times over, and after running my very first half marathon this past Saturday (yes, you may cheer for me. I am not humble at all.) I have been reminded of it again. Months of training and cold and gloomy weather have paid off, and I will hopefully never forget that feeling of running through the finish line for the first time ever. I know that in future races that I will run, and I hope there will be many, I will never quite feel the same again. Because now I know I can do it. That is of course not to say, that I won't feel excited next time... just not quite as excited as the first time. Ya know?

Well... it definitely has changed my life, and it has also reminded me that sticking to my job with Foundation Beyond Belief is the right thing to do, even though things are not going the way I had envisioned them. The plan is of course to start secular parenting groups all over the country. For that we need people to step up to the plate, take ownership of this project and be the leaders of their future parenting groups. I've been at this for about 3 weeks now, and nothing has happened yet. So I'm changing my strategy. I will contact the most enthusiastic people of all the groups and ask them to take over, at least in the beginning. Of course they can count on my help every step of the way. I'm hoping that this kind of encouragement is going to get people excited about moving forward and actually building groups in their areas.

If there are any readers here, who have not taken the FBB survey, but who would like to start a secular parenting group in their town, please do let me know. parents@foundationbeyondbelief is my contact information.
Persistence is key... and that's just it. :)

Foundation Beyond Belief

2010-04-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

Well, the first quarter of Foundation Beyond Belief is over, and they posted the numbers to the blog. Each of the ten beneficiaries are going to receive over $1000! This is wonderful news of course. :)

We are now over 400 members strong. Thank you for contributing, and please spread the word. :)

Visit Foundation Beyond Belief for more information.

Why on Earth would a secularist homeschool?

2010-03-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

This question posed on a friend's Facebook status has been nagging at me for almost two weeks now, and I'm still flabbergasted at the fact that so many out there are still under the impression, that homeschooling is somehow reserved to religious fanatics, who want nothing more than to keep their children away from society and who want to brainwash them by avoiding subjects like evolution.

Of course, had you asked me about homeschooling 10 years ago, I would have asked you why anyone in their right mind would homeschool at all. That was right after I left Germany, where homeschooling is illegal, and the education of future generations really should be left to professionals (or so I thought).

Ten years later I am disillusioned by the fact, that the media happily supports the notion that all homeschoolers are religious fanatics, whose hobby it is to have as many children as is humanly possible, or who are seeking asylum in this country because they were persecuted in Germany for homeschooling their children.
Every now and then a newspaper article will appear about an especially successful homeschooler who was accepted to Harvard at the tender age of XYZ. The article will usually focus on the hundred different things this child is exceptionally good at, like dancing, and fencing, and math, and let's not forget she has won an award for inventing a machine that does your homework for you.

Is it all that surprising that the world sees our children as highly intelligent, church going, social misfits? (That is not to say, that church goers are social misfits. It's simply a common belief that this is who homeschoolers must be.)

So, why on Earth WOULD a secularist homeschool? ~~Because we can.~~ There are plenty of good reasons to keep your child out of school. The school system in the country is broken. No child left behind has left more children behind than anyone would care to admit, as schools have simply lowered their standards, so that more students would pass their tests, and therefore the schools would get the government funding they so desperately needed. But this is not the reason why I homeschool. Religion never had anything to do with my decision to keep my children at home, although recently it certainly was added to my list of pros for homeschooling.

My reason for keeping my children at home are quite simple:

1. I don't believe in crowded classrooms where children interact with the same 30 kids every day, and spend half their time either waiting for the rest of the class to catch up with them, talk about homework, and where things like recess, physical education, and art are erased from the curriculum altogether.

2. I don't believe in homework. I do believe in learning by doing.

3. I love the ability to adjust on my kids' individual learning styles without the pressure to teach a certain thing at a certain time in a certain way.

4. I love to let my kids sleep until they are ready to begin the day.

5. Peer pressure among homeschoolers is, as far as I have seen in my community, non-existent. You are who you are, and your clothes, physical appearance, or wealth are a non-issue.

6. Homeschoolers get to interact with children of various ages and with adults all the time. They develop social skills at a very young age, and are not afraid to argue and discuss and to voice their opinions in a civilized manner. What's not to love about that?

7. I enjoy the freedom to dig into a subject with my children as long as I want and as deeply as they will allow. (Currently we are covering the Revolutionary War, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Paine, John Adams, Samuel Adams etc.)

8. Our classroom is not limited to the house. It is all around us, and we are making good use of it every single day.

I have been asked many times how I could do this to my children. It is only natural that people get to be critical of my choice to homeschool my children. If I ever dared to ask the question the other way around "How can you send your children to public school," people would be outraged. Public school is accepted as a given, as the ultimate way to educate a child.

It reminds me a lot of another situation... when I am asked how I could possibly deny God. Let's just imagine for a moment what would happen, if I asked "How can you possibly worship a made up supreme being?" Outrageous, isn't it?

In the end I strongly believe that a mixture of it all is what makes this world such a beautiful, diverse place. Not everyone can be homeschooled, and not everyone should go to public school. Not everyone can be an atheist, nor a Christian, nor a Muslim, nor a Jew. It is the ignorance and arrogance that I'd like to see replaced by open-mindedness and compassion. Too much to ask? I think not.

Secular Sunday School

2010-02-18T08:39:00.000-08:00

So last week was Darwin Day. On February 12, 1809 he was one of the most brilliant naturalists to ever roam the planet. :)

This past weekend at our Secular Sunday School of the Beaverton CFI Secular Parenting Meetup we "celebrated" Darwin's life by learning who he was, when he lived, and how amazing it was that he spent 5 years on a ship, despite the fact that he was severely seasick.

We discussed evolution, and the children had the opportunity to categorize terms such as "evolution", "fairies", "global warming", "God", "rain is wet" into Fact, Theory, and Belief. It was so much fun to watch the children discussing what is theory and what is belief.

During a game we played the children became animals with either horns or no horns, long or short necks, thick or thin fur, and long or short legs. I read scenarios out to them all while they were roaming around the classroom grazing. Each scenario kept some animals alive, while others died. The children had a blast finding cover, crossing a river, running from a volcano, and fighting predators.

At the end of the class they got to mingle and eat a snack. All seemed to thoroughly enjoy being there. And so did I. :)

The Holographic Universe

2010-02-14T06:21:00.000-08:00

Science is an amazing thing. I am in awe of scientists, who continuously work hard to reveal new truths to us. The following videos however leave me wondering, what exactly the producers have eaten, or what awesome drugs they're on, to come up with their "facts" "proven by Science".

According to these videos we are the creation of a superior nerd, who sits all day and night and makes us think we exist, even though we don't. The universe is nothing but an illusion. Really, only one thing is missing, the offer of a red and green pill (for you non-Matrix fans out there, in the movie Matrix the hero is offered these pills... one of them returning him to the Matrix... the other revealing the truth outside the Matrix).

So, sit back, relax and enjoy the show... but don't forget, it's really just an illusion, and the knowledge of it won't do diddly for you.

And sometimes I have good news...

2010-01-30T07:42:00.000-08:00

like these:

Meet Ute Mitchell, Parent Community Coordinator for FBB

Nuff said. :)

It's no fair

2010-01-27T20:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday a fellow homeschooling mom has lost her unborn baby. She was 38 weeks along. I don't know the circumstances. I don't know if the baby died during labor or before. But I do know that for the past 24 hours I have been thinking about this woman and her family almost nonstop. My heart broke for her. This is not just a little mass of cells. This is a baby, a little human being that was supposed to start life outside the protective womb of its mother. This is a baby who has never got a fair chance at life. It's no fair.

I am an atheist. I don't believe that there is a god who chose to take this child early, because "it was special", as some try to make you believe. And if I wasn't an atheist, I would be now, because an all loving, all merciful god does not let a pregnant woman carry a child to term and then kill it. That would be murder. And murder is illegal... to religious people too. Thou shalt not kill. Does it not apply to supreme beings? Well, we need not discuss this question further.

The fact is, that sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes young healthy people go to bed at night and don't wake up in the morning. Sometimes pregnant women lose their babies. Sometimes an earthquake shatters a country and kills thousands of innocent people. There is no sense or reason behind it. It is life, plain and simple. And life comes with its companion, death. And we rejoice when a new little human is born, and we grieve when another one leaves. It's no fair. To us it isn't. But life doesn't care about what we feel, and why we feel it. Because life is not a person, who chooses special people by killing them, or punishing bad people by killing them. Death comes randomly, and because death is the one issue we haven't conquered, the one problem we haven't solved in our own minds, that's why we think of it as unfair... and that's why the religious among us cling to the afterlife, to heaven, to nirvana. Because the overwhelming burden of death ending all is unbearable to so many.

I wish, I could somehow wipe away this feeling of helplessness inside me. I wish I didn't think it was so terribly unfair. But I'm human, and while I have made peace (mostly) with my own mortality, the sheer thought of a child dying leaves me speechless, breathless, and aching for an answer, for some peace of mind.

It's no fair.

Foundation Beyond Belief

2010-01-27T16:03:00.000-08:00

Normally I feel a pinch of guilt, when I advertise to my readers. But hey, this is my blog, the cause I'm going to advertise is great, and if you don't like it, don't read. (Okay, please read it. Pretty please.)

If you're a humanist, a secularist, atheist, agnostic, or whatever it is you like to call yourself, you have likely heard of Foundation Beyond Belief. If you haven't, well, it's about time.
Who started Foundation Beyond Belief? This guy here, Dale McGowan, who is of course the co-author/editor of the books Parenting Beyond Belief and Raising Freethinkers (on this picture with his beautiful wife Becca, who I'm certain is doing more than her part to support her husband's fabulous cause, as they have three young children!!)

What is Foundation Beyond Belief???
Foundation Beyond Belief is a new non-profit charitable and educational foundation created (1) to focus, encourage and demonstrate humanistic generosity, and (2) to provide a comprehensive education and support program for humanist parents. The Foundation will highlight ten charitable organizations per quarter--one in each of ten categories. Members join the Foundation by signing up for a monthly automatic donation in the amount of their choice, then set up personal profiles to indicate how they would like their contribution distributed among the ten categories. Maybe you'd like to give 25 percent each to human rights, poverty, education, and the environment. We'll distribute it accordingly. By year's end, you will have helped support a dozen organizations in the areas you care most about.
The centerpiece of the Foundation will be a lively online community. Active members can join a social network and discussion forums centered on the ten categories of giving, upload videos, recruit new members, advocate for causes and help us choose the new beneficiaries each quarter. We'll also create and host a multi-author blog of world-class contributors focused on the cause areas, as well as humanism, philanthropy, and the intersection of the two. Carefully selected for impact and efficiency, the beneficiaries may be founded on any worldview so long as they do not engage in direct promotion or proselytizing of that worldview. At the end of each quarter, 100 percent of the donations will be forwarded and a new slate of beneficiaries selected.
On the educational side, the Foundation will build the next stage in nontheistic parent education: a nationwide training program for parenting community leaders. We plan to have 30-40 people facilitating communities of nontheistic parents in cities across the country within a year.

Please go check out Foundation Beyond Belief, register, donate, browse the beneficiaries, nominate a charity that's close to your heart, or become a volunteer, if you feel so inclined.
Yes, I am involved with the foundation, and I can say first hand that this is a legitimate, cool cause, worthy of your time... and if you wish to repost this, advertise it on your yahoo lists, Facebook pages or Twitter, feel free to do so.

Subject for discussion

2010-01-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

Last night my husband returned from a discussion group with fellow non-believers, told me about a woman, who is irrationally pro-choice (?). Granted, he is pro-choice as well to a certain extent I suppose. This woman, he says, is of the opinion that every cell that comes from your body should always belong to you. As an example he said, "Imagine, you harvested your eggs for a future pregnancy with your husband. At some point you divorce, and now your husband decides he is going to use those eggs and a surrogate mother to become a father. This woman at the discussion group was completely against this."

To her, the eggs are her property, and her ex-husband should not have the right to use these eggs, nor should anybody else have the right to use these eggs for "anything else".

I do have an opinion, but I don't want to influence any of your opinions about this subject. Please tell me... what do YOU think? Do your eggs, once harvested still belong to you? Or should a potential ex-husband have the right to use them as well, since he was the originally planned father anyway?
Would it make a difference if the eggs were already fertilized with his semen?

Discuss away. It's an interesting subject for sure. :) Oh, and... be nice!

Atheists are difficult

2010-01-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

On a day like today I agree with that statement 100%. Herding cats and all, it's all true. To create a community for atheists is infinitely more difficult than to create a church community. Why? Well, when you go to church, you get to choose between lots of different "faiths". Each church is slightly different. There are the evangelical hardcore Christians, and then there are the very liberal Christians, and then there is everything inbetween. You choose just exactly what you are comfortable with and at your church you meet a whole bunch of others who feel the same way.

It's a little different among atheists. Atheists have really only one thing in common: a lack of belief. And that's that. Some atheists are so rational you can almost feel the dust when you talk to them. Others have a special relationship with the universe. We all have very strong opinions, and with our newly found pride and confidence we want to be heard, at any cost.

And yes, I am oh so very guilty of it all. And I got caught smack in the middle of a very useless debate, that turned into more of a cat fight (there are those cats again), and now I wish I had just sat on my fingers, instead of typing away as I saw fit. Why can't I just keep it to myself?

In my ideal world I am a member of a fantastic group of people, who have a building in the city, where we can gather in smaller groups. Parents, seniors, teens, radical atheists and those floating above the rest of us. Of course in my idea world I can also shut my mouth instead of raising my pitchfork and yelling out loud just what I think is true and right.

But, in my defense, I am aware of this faulty behavior and I am willing to learn. And I will learn for a very long time to come. :) But I think I have time. I do plan to grow very very old.

2009/2010

2009-12-31T13:57:00.000-08:00

So I had a discussion with someone who asked me why I made new year's resolutions. Couldn't I just make them throughout the year? She insisted, that she made them whenever it was necessary to make them. She didn't need a certain date to come up with good resolutions. I agreed with her of course, that it was quite alright to make resolutions any old time, if that's what you want to do.

But also, why NOT make resolutions at the end of the year? Is there a reason why I shouldn't? I do slow down after Christmas and before the New Year, before I get back to business as usual. After the hustle and bustle of the Holidays, the parties, the food, and the many gifts, there really is no better time than to sit back, and let your mind wander a bit. What is it I did this past year? What good things happened to me? What bad things casted a shadow over me? And what can I do better next year?

I like a fresh start January 1st with renewed energy and this incredible joy, that I'm alive and kicking, and that I'm getting yet another chance to improve my ways, my thinking, my goals for the future. This doesn't stop me from re-thinking ideas, or changing directions, when I deem it necessary. But what better time is there to set short term, mid term, and long term goals than January 1st?

Of course, it doesn't matter at all, when you set these goals for yourself. Just keep those goals alive. Don't stop planning. There is nothing more frustrating than to be stuck in your tracks without moving forward and up, up, up!! :)

To all of you, whatever your tradition, whatever your plans, whatever your goals, I wish you success in everything you do. I wish you health, satisfaction, and happiness.

See you all next year. :)

Why be a good person?

2009-12-24T07:34:00.000-08:00

If you're an atheist, you've likely had someone ask you this question. "If you don't believe in anything, why would you try so hard to be a good person?"

The answer is, of course, obvious. We know instinctively that being and doing good is the right thing. We see how people react to us and our being good, and so we do it again.

My almost 9 year old daughter is proof for this "theory", that especially children are naturally good. Toothless Fairy, as I call her on my other blog, has a great, big heart, and is incredibly sad, that there is so much suffering in the world. In her own way she tries to help by doing good. During a food drive she will be the one to bring five cans of food instead of two. A while ago she found a missing person's ad in the newspaper... a young girl from Colorado. She put the ad on our fridge, and told people to be on the lookout for this poor little girl. She knows of course that chances are slim. But even a slim chance is a chance to her.

And finally she declared, she was going to donate toys to the Ronald McDonald house in Southwest Portland. The thought of children spending the holidays in a hospital saddens her, and it was her desire to brighten their days by giving toys. And so she collected toys from friends, then went to the toy store with her dad to buy more toys, and last week we dropped off a large bag at the house. The house manager offered her heartfelt thanks, and my daughter was beaming. Yesterday she received a thank you note from the Ronald McDonald crew, a long handwritten note. This meant the world to my little girl.

It's Christmas Eve... this year for the first time, Toothless Fairy has saved her allowance to give presents to us and her brother. She is so excited about giving us these things, she has a hard time keeping her mouth shut. She WANTS to tell us what's in them, because it almost kills her not to. :)

My daughter, at a very young age, has learned the valuable lesson that giving is so much more rewarding than receiving. She knows, instinctively that being and doing good is the right thing... not because we promise her anything, not because we threaten her, but because it's right.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all of you out there.

Merry Christmas? Happy Solstice? Happy Anything?

2009-12-06T20:42:00.000-08:00

It's been a few years since I was first told, that I, as an atheist, should not celebrate Christmas, should not have a Christmas tree, and by the way, I should not have a holiday at all. Back then I had no idea that the Christmas tree was in fact a pagan tradition, which was later adopted by Christians, or I would have had a grand argument on my hands.

Nobody has talked to me like this ever since. But I do get the "So what do you celebrate?" question at least once during "The Season", and each time I reply, that I do celebrate Christmas, and I call it Christmas too.

You see, I grew up with Christmas, even though both my parents are atheists. It was and is a tradition, one that I value and appreciate, because I get to spend it with family, and this year even with German family. The word Christmas doesn't offend me as is the case with many others of different faiths. I prefer to say Happy Holidays to people, because I am aware of their different faiths. I say Happy Hanukkah to my best friend who is Jewish. Christmas to me is a word like Kleenex. I say it because it's familiar, and I've known it like this my whole life. If someone suddenly decided to call it something else, that would be perfectly fine with me too. Because, quite frankly, it doesn't matter to me at all.

What does matter:

~baking cookies with my children

~sending cards to friends and family... some of whom I haven't talked to in ages

~thinking about what the past year has brought and what I would like to do better next year

~Jingle Bells, Winter Wonderland, and Let it Snow

~Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold (oh yes, baby, every year)

~giving time and money to charities

~thinking of fun ideas for presents

~hugging my parents who will come and celebrate with us this year

~a beautifully decorated tree

~the sparkle in "their" eyes, when they open their gifts and find they got what they wanted

~the many hugs and kisses

~the wine

~watching the children play with their new toys

~tea

~reading "The Night Before Christmas"

~watching, for the millionth time the German "Drei Haselnuesse fuer Aschenbroedel" which was produced 5 years before I was born, and it still is the best Christmas movie EVER.

~the dinner

~feeling incredibly peaceful

An atheist friend of mine told me she doesn't need a holiday to feel at peace and enjoy her family. True, I enjoy mine all year (except for those times, when I want to drop my children off at the next public school, because I think homeschooling was an awful idea... which of course never lasts for more than 20 minutes or so, but yes, it does happen). But I wouldn't put a tree in my living room throughout the year. And Winter Wonderland just doesn't quite cut it in July. And feeling peaceful simply does come a little easier, when you sit by the fire place with your lovelies around you.

Besides, I love a good party... and if it's spent with the people I love the most, life quite simply doesn't get any better than that.

I do wish we didn't have the yearly discussions on whether or not Target should wish their customers Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas without fearing they'll be boycotted by their most religious shoppers. If that constant struggle disappeared, I don't know what I would do with all the happiness and peacefulness. :)

A few links for you to find out more about those celebrating the Winter Solstice:

Solstice Planning Guide

Solstice explained by Wikipedia

Wikipedia History of the Christmas Tree

Religious Tolerance: Winter Solstice

May your "Season" be all you hope it will be.

For every bitter atheist there has to be a friendly one

2009-12-02T07:57:00.000-08:00

I wrote an article about atheism, describing my own and my friend's nonbelief. It appeared in Portland Family Magazine and can be found here!
It is titled "Mommy, what happens after I die?"

And if you happen to be a reader of Natural Life Magazine, I have an article in there as well, describing my journey of being born in an atheist household, giving Christianity a try as a child and teenager, and finally realizing that only atheism is really going to work for me. The whys and hows can be found here!

Enjoy.

Happy Thanksgiving - an article I love

2009-11-26T07:29:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving Day at my house started the same as every year. I woke up early, went downstairs to sit by the fireplace and read my e-mail and news, then check Facebook for status updates. Who knew that I would be that interested in what exactly 199 people are doing at any given time of the day. :-) Of course there are also the many links to excellent articles, and sometimes to funny youtube videos. If you haven't checked out the Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody on youtube yet, you have to go do that now. Or well, after you're done reading my blog post. :)

One of my Facebook friends posted this link and I want to pass it along to you:

Thanksgiving The Secular Ways

I particularly like this:

But there is a secular equivalent to this impulse, even if it assumes no particular “giver,’’ no intelligent designer — nothing personal. The accidents of birth may have been shaped by a set of temporal precedents — driven, say, by cold dynamics like natural selection and random mutation. But what we are left with is the sacred experience of being, when there could have been nothingness. Awe, wonder, fear, and trembling — these define the spiritual response of the human person, who not only exists, but is existence conscious of itself.

Gratitude is built into that consciousness, needing no specified object, much less a named benefactor. Gratitude extends simply to all that went before, and all that sustains. Grateful to parents, and all ancestors; grateful to the fragile web of nature; grateful to the very air. As Americans, we can be grateful to particular traditions that protect our freedoms, and press us to expand them. As creatures, we can be so grateful to creation as to refuse the urge to make it stand for something else — even a Creator. We can say thanks without saying thank you. Gratefulness  is open-ended.

An intense awareness of what is given assumes the like awareness that it will be taken. There was a time when the bounty of life that we celebrate by feasting did not exist, and a day is coming when it will be gone. Knowing that the feast will end is the precondition of true festivity.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there.

Respecting a person - respecting ideas

2009-11-24T07:14:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since my last entry. I took a bit of a blogging break on both my blogs to enjoy fall, and take a trip to Germany to welcome my new baby niece to the world. What a beautiful new human being. I miss her dearly already.

This post is about respect. Recently I had another parenting discussion group at my house. We read two essays from the book Parenting Beyond Belief and then use the questions from the website as discussion starter. One of the questions was about a letter that Richard Dawkins wrote to his daughter when she was 10 years old. Anyone who knows Richard Dawkins als knows that he gets a lot of criticism for being aggressive and disrespectful. People call him a "New Atheist", whatever that might mean. The question was: Are all ideas automatically respectable?

This led to an interesting discussion, that had me realize that respecting my friends and respecting their ideas are two different things, when it comes down to analyzing the word respect. And I came to the conclusion that it is quite alright for me not to respect certain ideas my friends might have. This doesn't change the respect I have for them as people. It simply means I disagree with some of their ideas.

We don't have to respect everyone's ideas. Imagine you did. Every silly idea would have to be taken seriously and considered. If your best friend comes along and tells you there are pink unicorns and the moon is made of cheese, and she believes in it, will you respect that idea? Probably not. Can you still respect your friend? Of course! She's your friend, and she may not respect all of your ideas either. (So there!)

Yesterday I browsed my radio stations in the car and came across 860AM. I listened to a bitter old republican yell at his listeners, how all democrats are fakes, and that they were going out to get them. Only republicans were standing on the shoulders of their founders, and only republicans wanted freedom for their children. And he issued a warning to President Obama, that by voting they would also get him, because he of course is a fake too.

During my life in Arizona I was surrounded by republicans. I am now mostly surrounded by democrats. I am always willing to give people the respect they deserve... if of course these people give me the respect that I deserve. I am certain if I met this radio talkshow host in real life, at a holiday event or something like this, I might even have had a friendly conversation and walked out of the room thinking "what a nice man". He could still think of democrats as fakes. But the difference would be in the way he discusses his issue. I could respect him as a person, but not respect his ideas and still have a decent relationship with him. Of course he blew it the very first time I listened to him on the radio. So chances are, if we ever ran into each other I'd be giving him a piece of my mind. :)

When religion is thicker than blood...

2009-10-30T09:01:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I attended a discussion about leaving religion, and the problems this creates for many. Personally I don't struggle with this. All my family members are either non-theists, or if they are believers, they don't ever talk about their beliefs. It doesn't matter. I know my aunt and uncle are Catholics, but the subject of religion has never come up, and I considered this a normal thing.

Well, until recently. During this meeting I have heard some very sad stories of people whose families have turned their backs to them, because they left religion. It broke my heart to hear one woman's story, whose daughter is not talking to her, and who is not allowed to see her grandchildren.
Another woman was scared to spend 10 days with her sister, knowing that this sister is very religious and will not leave her alone about her atheism.

Sometimes things like that bring out the lioness in me. Today I am simply deeply saddened by the fact, that religion manages to destroy families, to leave some lonely and helpless. Not only have these people lost their comforting belief in a god... they have also lost their community... and then their family. What is a person supposed to do? Stay in the closet, keep attending church and pretend they still believe? Would you really want your family member (your mother, sister, cousin) to lie to you about their non-belief, just so that you can keep loving them? Love thy neighbor ends when it comes to religion?

It's the easy way out for some. It's a lifetime of pain for others.
Turning away from your own family is not the humane thing to do. It is awful and cruel.

Secular Sunday School - What's next?

2009-10-16T16:43:00.001-07:00

Our "Six Pillars of Characters" will be over soon. Of course our Sunday School will continue, and I will have to come up with something fun, interactive, creative to share with my little people. It has always been my wish to teach comparative religion, as a way for them to see what was and still is out there. I want them to get a real understanding of religion, of faith, and of course the ancient religions as well.

So I have started work on creating my very own little "curriculum". It will be far from complete, I'm sure, as I cannot consider myself a historian, and I have no special knowledge about most religions. But I have an interest and the drive to research, to collect as much information as possible, and to share this information with little people, who have a right to know not just about atheism and Christianity, but also about Buddhism, and Judaism, Paganism, Pantheism, and Islam... about Ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans, and Norse gods.

Since I'm working with 6 to 9 year olds, the information will be simple, easy to understand and swallow. Ideally I would like to read stories and prayers to the kids, and then finish each lesson with a craft. Clearly this will pose a bit of a challenge. It's one thing to make a craft about Ancient Egyptians gods... a whole other thing to have them build Noah's Ark. I do expect some controversy, and I realize that not all parents will approve of this approach I'm planning to take.

But I do very much hope that the majority will take this class as what it is intended to be: religion from a secular point of view. No bashing, but honest, informative education without indoctrination. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but I'm willing to give it a try.

Charity

2009-09-21T13:37:00.001-07:00

It is almost disturbingly easy to come up with a few ideas to get children involved in charity work. It just takes a little initiative and the right kind of passion on the responsible adult's part, and the kids will take care of the rest.

During our secular Sunday School this past Sunday our group decided to dive into the following projects over the next few months.

~Decorate papers with pictures and Happy Thanksgiving notes and laminate them to be used as place mats. The place mats will be delivered to the Children's Hospital as gifts for children, who cannot spend Thanksgiving at home.

~Decorate holiday cards for the elderly and for sick children at the hospital.

~Decorate fabric shopping bags and write messages on them, like, "Remember to recycle." "Bring your own shopping bag." etc. These will be taken to a grocery store of our choice and handed out to the customers.

~Pick up trash in the neighborhood. (Easy enough, isn't it?)

~Raise funds for and walk in "The March of Dimes" next year.

All of this is happening as part of our curriculum, The Six Pillars of Character, and of course the subject on Sunday was "Caring". I look forward to some beautifully decorated place mats. :)

Rational Sunday School

2009-09-08T12:32:00.002-07:00

A couple of years ago my husband and I started a program for secular families. We taught what we called "Rational Sunday School" to children. I remember our humble beginnings in a coffee shop. We talked about Galileo Galilei, evolution, dinosaurs, and finally about humans and ethics. We made a point not to make this program a religion bashing session. That's not what we're here for.
As a matter of fact, I am now even leaning toward calling it Secular Sunday School rather than Rational Sunday School, as I do not want to imply that religious people aren't capable of rational thought. That is NOT our mission.

The mission is to raise children to be open-minded, freethinking, ethical human beings, who will hopefully manage to live peacefully among their peers, may they be Christians, Muslims, Buddhists or Jews... Pagans, Wiccans or well, Atheists and Agnostics.

In the bigger picture my very own mission is also to promote a more positive picture of atheism. If I can help even in a small way to make people understand, that we are not out to get them, that we are not grumpy and angry (well, some are, but I'm not)... and if in the process I can show the children in my class, that there are more of us and that it's okay to be us, then I know I will have accomplished something, that in the future my children won't have to accomplish anymore. It will already be done for them. Ideally my children will not face the exact same struggles as we do... I'd hate to think that there is no learning curve from generation to generation. ;-)

Well, this fall we will finish up our Six Pillars of Character Curriculum. These six pillars should really be taught to all humans, religious or non-religious, although I must say that most of them we know intuitively. We are born with a conscience, and very quickly we learn what it means to be honest and caring and responsible etc. The Six Pillars are: Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, Trustworthiness and Citizenship. It's amazing to see the kids put their minds to the subject, to see a message go through to them. And my hopes are that they do go home and put these lessons to good use.

I'm also working on "what comes next" in our Sunday School journey. I want to teach religious education to the kids. I want them to understand what Christianity is. I want them to understand what Judaism and Buddhism is. I want to try to cover all the major world religions, and then I want to cover ancient religions... the Egyptian, Greek, and Roman gods, and the Norse gods. I hope to instill a curiosity in the kids to find out, how these religions started... and why some just disappeared, while others lived on into modern times. By the time we're done I hope the kids will have a real understanding of religion... in a kid friendly way. It's a challenge, that much is clear. And sometimes I wonder how I ended up being the one to teach this class. After all, what credentials do I have? Am I even capable of teaching religious education to these kids?

Well, I'm a homeschooler. And almost 4 years ago, when I looked into the "subject" of homeschooling, I didn't hesitate very long. I jumped right into the deep end and started swimming. The same is true for our Secular Sunday School. I had to either jump and swim... or sit at the side of the pool and dangle my feet into the water. And that just simply wasn't an option. I like swimming... :)

Rational Sunday School

2009-09-08T12:32:00.001-07:00

Mitch McDad...

2009-09-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

... a guy with a blog you should be reading. I just came across is last post about humans and evolution, and he's spot on about everything he says. Oh, and he says it well too. :)

t still amazes me how little people understand about evolution. Last week a close family friend who happens to be a very successful, very intelligent, high-level business executive (and barely religious whatsoever) said that he, “just doesn’t buy that humans used to be monkeys.” I almost fell off my chair and flung poop at him.

Irrespective of your religious views, we do ourselves a disservice as a people to hold “beliefs” on things like evolution without even the basest examination of the facts. One of my favorite scenes in the Borat movie is when Sacha Baron Cohen goes to the evangelical church in the south and the preacher at one point proclaims, “I didn’t evolve out of a monkey. I didn’t used to be a tadpole. I is what I is.” Well, Mr. Preacher Man, you’re right, you is what you is. And for those people in the auditorium that day, all they needed to hear was that he didn’t used to be a monkey or a tadpole and that made evolution bogus. That’s the danger of belief without reason or fact. The crazy dude in the movie, running up and down the aisle “screaming in tongues,” doesn’t even know that you can still believe in God and understand how evolution works.

There is much more to this post, so go on over and check out his blog.

Really, it's worth it.

Going to church

2009-08-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

My daughter's best friend goes to the Sunday School program at a Unitarian Universalist church. My daughter has expressed an interest in that, and she's hoping to go there with her dad sometime soon. I'm not sure why she asked him instead of me to tell you the truth. But, so be it. I guess you could say I'm a little relieved, that she wants to see a church from the inside, although of course a UU church can't be compared to a Catholic church for instance. And even if it was a Catholic church, I would want her to go. Why, you ask?

Well, let me tell you a little about my own childhood in Germany, where way back when religious education was mandatory for every child in public school. Homeschooling was (and is to this day) illegal over there. Both my parents are atheists, and never talked to me about religion. And they didn't need to either. Religious education took care of that. My protestant minister teacher taught us the Bible, the prayers, the songs. Heaven was good, hell was bad. My cousin, living in Bavaria, and raised in a Catholic household talked me into going to church with her, whenever I spent my summer vacation at her house.

By age 14, after giving religion and Christianity a try I was done. I was sick and tired of the conflicting messages between Protestants and Catholics. And then of course there were the Muslims (the Turkish kids in my class), who were certain that their religion was the one and only.

I can honestly say that my parents never influenced me in any way. I started and ended with atheism completely on my own. And sometimes I wish I could say the same for my own children. But well, this is America, a different country, different culture, and it just so happens that the mother of my kids writes articles for magazines, and teaches Rational Sunday School, and holds secular parenting discussion groups at her house. And their father is involved with various atheist groups as well. It's hardly surprising, that my 8 year old daughter is an outspoken atheist. My son has just recently announced that "we don't believe in gods". (Good boy.)

Well, here's the thing, and when Dale came to speak in Portland, he confirmed my concern: I really don't want church and religion to be foreign to my children. I want them to understand, truly understand, what is going on inside those holy walls. I want them to know, so they can figure things out for themselves. Clearly I am hoping that they will in fact grow up to be freethinkers like their parents. But if one of them chooses to adopt a faith, well, I guess (after some initial disappointment... after all I'm only human) I will at least know that I have truly given them a choice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As for Germany, you may know that it is a decidedly secular country. Separation of church and state is not an issue, and religious education in schools is still offered, but no longer mandatory. In addition to RE schools now offer ethics education as well for those children, who grow up with different faiths and with no faith at all.

Secular parenting discussion

2009-08-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

I finally did it. I started a discussion group for secular parents, based on the book "Parenting Beyond Belief". This is been something that I wanted to do for a while... years even, but in the beginning there wasn't a cool book like Dale's, and then other things got in my way. Last week, however, we had our very first meeting, and while attendance was still low (I blame it on summer vacation), I think the meeting went well.

I printed out the study guide that can be found on Parenting Beyond Belief, and our little group of five people discussed the first essay of the first chapter "Navigating Around the Dinner Table" by Julia Sweeney, in which she discusses death and what may or may not follow after death. The questions in the study guide led to an interesting conversation on what we as parents tell our own children, which was especially helpful to a young couple, who are parents to a 9 months old son, and who, of course didn't have to face difficult questions such as this one yet.

A passage from Julia Sweeney's essay, that I particularly like for its poetic tone is this:

~~~~~~~~
"When you die, your body decomposes," I said, "It breaks down into all these teeny parts you can't even see - like dirt or air even. And those particles become part of something else." And my daughter said, "Like what?" And I said, "Well, like a flower or air or grass or dirt or even another person." And she said, "Well, I want to be another person!" And I said, "Yes, I understand. But even if some of your molecules became part of another person, it wouldn't be you. Because You are You and when You are gone, there will never ever be another You in this world. You are so special and unique that this world will only ever make one of You. With You they broke the mold, so that's it. Only You. Right here, right now."
And she seemed to kind of get that. In fact, it made her feel special."

~~~~~~~~

My idea is to have our discussion group once a month, including September, although my daughter protested with the argument that it's my birthday in September, implying that we party all month, I suppose. If any of you Portlanders out there care to join us for a future meeting, please do let me know.

Finally I do urge those interested in the group to buy the book, as we will read an essay and talk about it each time. At Amazon and Half.com they are for sale for as low as $8.-. And this is a book that can be read and worked with over and over, as you encounter new and interesting discussions and experiences with your growing freethinker. :)

To say it with Dale McGowan's words...

2009-07-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

I don't want atheists/non-theists to take over the world. Religion is important and valuable for many, and good things are being done by churches. What I really want is to have an equal place around the table. There is so much room. Why not squeeze together a little and make room for those without belief in a supreme being?

Yes, of course, we do come with a few uncomfortable requests. We don't want a god, any god, on our money, in schools, and in politics. But this is true for other groups as well. We do, after all, have lots and lots of gods and goddesses. It seems unfair to have just one on the money. Of course it doesn't make much sense to put them all on the money. That, to me, leaves pretty much one option.

Ah yes, I know, it's not going to happen. Not during my lifetime. And not because I say it. Who am I, after all? I'm puny. But well, stalactites have not formed in one day either, have they?

(Stay tuned for my next post about religious education for secular folks. Dude, that sounds so cool!)

Atheist... Humanist... what the heck is the difference anyway?

2009-07-12T18:07:00.000-07:00

Well, for one the atheist in America is the personified anti-christ, if you ask your average religious fanatic. Atheists are, in fact, the most hated minority in the US. It's a fact. We're even less popular than Muslims. And that, my friends, means a lot. Where church and government are inseparably intertwined, an atheist is a nuisance at best, and a real threat at worst. Okay, so I love declaring myself an atheist, especially to those who have met me, think highly of me, and have to realize, that, oh golly, that friendly lady over there, is a non-believer.

What makes me a humanist though? An easy question to answer, in fact. I am 100% devoted to humanism. And humanism by definition is:

~ humanism - humanitarianism: the doctrine that people's duty is to promote human welfare
~ humanism - the doctrine emphasizing a person's capacity for self-realization through reason; rejects religion and the supernatural
~ humanism - the cultural movement of the Renaissance; based on classical studies
(Thank you Princeton Wordnetweb.)

I love human beings, even those who don't love me. And I hope, with all my heart, that my children will grow up to be better human beings than I am. Is there a better reason to be a humanist? I think not.

Remember me?

2009-07-07T22:57:00.001-07:00

Well, I decided to start a new blog, away from my other blog. It seems, my other blog has developed into a direction, where I don't feel that I can incorporate my humanism/atheism as well as here. This blog will be devoted to raising my children without religion, to the trials and tribulations we run into as a non-believing family, to share videos I like, topics I care about.

In the past I have written a blog called An Atheist Homeschooler. It was fun and interesting, but turned bitter after a while, not because the subject of non-belief is a bitter subject, but because I started feeling bitter about being this hated minority in a country that is otherwise so on top of it all. This blog will be devoted much more to positivity, to share, who I am, who my family is, and what we want out of life.

I used to write at The Jesus Myth as MissPDX, if you care to read some of my old stuff. If you get easily offended, don't go. :)

You can also find one of my articles at The Humanist.

I invite you to come back often, with an open mind, with a friendly word, or simply to quietly enjoy the fact, that you are, in fact, not the only non-believer out there.